Pastor's Wive's Q & A - Tammy Thiessen

I was thankful to meet Tammy during our Church Planting assessment back in 2009. Tammy and her husband Johnny came to share there own experience in planting a church and I still remember their message to us: make sure you are called to do this because some times all you have is the call. She is wise in her faith and life experience and I’m thankful for that she was willing to share her journey with us at This Beautiful Chaos that is My Life.

Tammy began ministry 4 months after she married her husband Johnny 23 years ago. They have 3 sons, ages 21, 19 and 12. 

Johnny is currently a Regional Director in Alberta for the C2C Church Planting Network. Previously, he was a Youth Pastor, Associate Pastor, a Lead Pastor and a church planter.

What is the hardest aspect of being a pastor’s wife?

I’ve been challenged with developing deep, trustworthy friendships. I make friends easily and genuinely enjoy getting to know other women, so that has not been hard. The difficult part for me has been in discerning how much to share with whom. The gospel is being worked out daily in my life so I don’t want to be closed and appear to have it all together. If I’m putting on that mask then I’m saying I have no need for Jesus. I’ve personally experienced women, whom I thought were friends, use against me stories I’ve shared with them. I also have friends within the church body who are godly, mature and trustworthy. We are able to share with each other and pray for one another. Finding those godly friendships may take awhile but once found are such a treasure!

What is one thing you wish people knew about being a pastor’s wife?

I’m not the only one who should be asked to pray at ladies’ groups!  

What do you love most about being a pastor’s wife?

The role of a pastor is quite unique in that it allows for couples to serve together. I’ve loved serving along side my husband over the years. As his pastoral roles have changed so has the way we’ve served together. I really enjoy doing pre-marital and marital coaching with couples. It’s so exciting to see marriages transformed when they start living out the gospel with each other. At times I am overwhelmed that God would allow my husband and I to be a part of this. When we go to appointments together we often joke that it is “take your wife to work day” again!

What are 2 or 3 practical things you do to maintain your personal relationship with God?

Every morning before I get out of bed, and allow my mind to go into mom and wife mode, I acknowledge Jesus and my need for Him. I spend time giving Him praise and thanking Him for His goodness. It’s too easy for me to think I am doing things by my own strength. I need to know that the very One who created the universe is with me in the day ahead.  My husband and I are following a bible reading plan and are able to do it together most mornings. If he’s out of town then I read on my own and we share together later. Prayer and repentance are also a part of this. I love studying theology and always have a few books on the go.

Do you take a leadership role in your church?

Over the years I have led ladies’ groups and been involved in mentoring. I’ve worked out of my gifts as I’ve felt called to it.

How does the gospel apply to your identity as a pastor’s wife?

The gospel has given me my identity. I am a daughter of the King. So for me, everything else falls under that. All other titles I have are evidences of the blessings in my life. I am a follower of Jesus who just happens to be pastor’s wife, mom, sister, aunt, and friend. The title of pastor’s wife could be stripped away in a heartbeat. Then what?  My identity must come from Jesus and the finished work of the cross. From that identity I can serve in the roles that He has placed me in.

How do you support your husband?

I went straight to the source and asked him myself. He said I use my gifts to compliment his. We’ve been married a long time so this has grown over the years.

What is the balance between doing nothing in the church and doing everything?

Well, both can be equally sinful. Doing nothing may be due to laziness or disobedience to what you know God is asking you to do. Doing everything may look like you are the ultimate self-sacrificing servant. In reality you may be seeking out recognition or trying to find fulfillment in what ultimately can only come from God.

When we first started in church planting I did lots of serving that would not have been my first choice. It wasn’t easy but I knew it wasn’t about me it was about the mission. It was a great sanctification process that showed the sin muddying up my heart.

The people are the church not the building you meet in. So don’t get hung up on serving in the building. There may be lots of hosting in your home, which is a great way for your family to be together. Your kids don’t want to see you walking out the door for the third time that week while they stay home with a babysitter again. Take into account the season of life you are in and the ages of your kids. Remember that if your husband is the pastor you can’t both be out all the time and wonder why your kids grow up resentful towards the church.

As believers we are called to love God and love people. So love them! Invite your neighbours in. Look beyond the walls of your building. Pray for God’s direction in all of this and He will direct you.

Please pray for Tammy as she continues in her leadership journey and seeks to support her husband in his role with C2CNetwork.