Be True to Who You Are: A Challenge for Pastor's Wives - Part 2

This past weekend I went on a great women's retreat with the women of Village Church. I had the privilege of emceeing the weekend and was my crazy, outgoing self. Many of the women were surprised by this, as they only see me on Sunday mornings, thus most assume I am just quiet and reserved. But the truth is, while I enjoy being quiet, listening to other people's stories, and working in the background of the church, supporting Mark, etc., I am naturally more extraverted, love being crazy and enjoy a good laugh with friends! That's the way God has wired me. 

What I have come to see over many years is this: I can't try to be what I wasn’t designed to be. I try. God knows I try. I see other wives of ministry leaders and I think, “God why didn’t you design me like so & so.” I know I’m not alone in thinking this way. So many wives, if they are honest, are trying to be someone they are not. These unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves are most likely not from our spouses, or our churches, and most definitely not from God.  Have you put unrealistic expectations on yourself that you will never meet?

Wives' Issues

Global Pastor’s Wives Network reports two interesting statistics: (1) that 80% of pastor's wives struggle with depression.

I believe that one of the reason for that is, at least in part, comes from women just not being themselves. We each create our own paradigm for how a pastor’s wife should act, then out of that we push ourselves beyond our natural limits to fit in the box, causing anxiety, doubt and loneliness.

Have you suppressed who God has made you? Are you struggling with finding your identity? Have you given up trying and isolated yourself?

(2) That the No. 1 reported reason pastor's leave the ministry is cited as "wives' issues." 

We need to work together to stop these staggering statistics. We need to get strong in who we are and band together to encourage one another. Serving out of our strengths and passions. We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other and start finding our identity in Christ. God has made us each with our own unique personalities and gifting. We need to start staying true to who we are and not get distracted by who we think people want us to be.

When I think of each of the wives on our Village Church team I am amazed and thankful for how different we all are. God knew what each of our husbands needed in a wife. Be the helpmate God knew your husband needed. Use your God given gifts to serve your church well. Be true to who you are in Christ!